My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
