He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
