Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
