nut hugger
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
