i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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