Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
