Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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