You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
