Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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