This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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