I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
