Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
