forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
