we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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