are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
