Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
