Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
that's an acceptable place to lick
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
