Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
