is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Couch. On fire.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
