so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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