I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
