It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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