Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
