I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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