we're blogging at a bar
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
