none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
