The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
True strength comes from lack of pants
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
