sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
