I think I just saw someone hide a body.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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