getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
