ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
