just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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