It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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