I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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