maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
