I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
