During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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