just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
