Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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