just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she told me i tasted like america
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
