We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
