You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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