Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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