my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
