I heard we made out
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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