Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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