The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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