I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
