Well apparently he's into motor boating.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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