Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
