it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
