If that was your dad, he is hot
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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